Friday, 22 April 2016

The Owl Pillow


Marianne felt that every surface of her home was covered with the debris of family life. It would be nice to claim one patch of it as her own.

  
Her friend Lottie Loudmouth stated in her booming voice that animals wee on things to mark their territory. 'NOTHING WILL GO NEAR THE TERRIER'S FAVOURITE SPOT IN THE GARDEN, HE WEES ON IT DAILY THEN SUNBATHES UNDISTURBED!' She bellowed so hard that Marianne's hair ruffled in the breeze.
 
 
Though Lottie was a dear friend who always tried to help, Marianne felt that urinating on the furniture was not a good idea. So she bought herself a pillow.
 
 
It was a lovely pink pillow with owls on it. She thought, 'This will mark my own little bit of territory,' and sat on it to drink tea.
 
 
Unfortunately she was very wrong.
Grandad visited and propped his head upon the pillow to ease his scalp infection.
 
 
His befuddled head filled with profound thoughts while his teeth floated next to him.
Marianne gave the pillow a quick wash after he had trundled home to get rid of the flecks of skin and bloodstains where Grandad had scratched himself.
 
 
'This is the beauty of the pillow,' Marianne said to herself as she pegged it out to dry, 'it's transportable and washable. When it's dry I shall sit on it in the garden and read.'
 
 
 
Unfortunately Arthur pulled the pillow off the line and used it as a trampoline. It wasn't long before he discovered that violent pillow jumping so soon after consuming spaghetti hoops was not good for his tummy. He demonstrated this all over the pillow which found it's way to the washing machine again.
 
 
Betsy pulled the pillow off the line and used it as a ballast for her tent.
 
 
It got pen and grass stains on it.
 
 
That evening the pillow was finally dry enough to go back on the sofa after the children had gone to bed. Marianne plumped it up ready for her quiet time watching murder mysteries and went out to fix herself a gin and tonic.
 
Whilst she was gone Mr Misfit thought the pillow would make a good tray for his dinner. Unfortunately he became entranced by an ice truck stuck in a snow drift on the tv and had an accident with the tomato sauce. He chased the ketchup around until the owls looked like they had been involved in a drive by shooting.
 
 
The next day Marianne washed the pillow again and pegged it out to dry.
 
 
Marianne brought it in once it was dry and laid it on the sofa while she made coffee. In her absence the disdainful cat with a tail like a bog brush dragged it onto the floor and set up home on it.
 
 
 
It became the cat's favourite snoozing place.
 
 
So Mrs Misfit found a new place to rest and read...for the moment.

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