Wednesday, 20 January 2016

Whirlwind Park Adventures

To the external world I smile and speak positively about venturing to the local park with my tiddlets.

Internally I am not nearly so positive. One child explores the park in a gentle, methodical manner, enjoying each activity along the way. The other flies round in a whirlwind of heightened excitement. Barely has his bottom sat on a swing and he's wriggling off in a frenzied fever rushing for the slide.

It is at these times that I wish I had the eyes of a Chameleon. While I appreciate having two bulbous eyes swivelling in opposite directions may look disturbing on a human it would appease my anxieties about keeping an eye on both children at the same time.

I am more on the paranoid side of child safety and believe there is a potential pervert hiding in every bush so any crowded scene with my children running wild fills me with terror.

Then there is the dreaded moment where they want to have a go on the roundabout. Not once, I stress NOT ONCE have they played on a roundabout without suffering an injury of somesort. The roundabout is basically a wheel of death.

There is the treacherous moment of getting on the swirling, hypnotic wheel that seems to draw everything towards it like a black hole. Rarely does it come to a complete halt necessitating your child to do a 'grab and leap' action to secure a place. At the tender ages of 3 and 5 my two do not possess great levels of dexterity or co-ordination (neither do I at the grand age of 38 either!) and so there is this heart stopping moment where their dear little hands reach for a handle flying past and they take the leap of faith.

Most times they go in too aggressively and find themselves flying backwards after being rebuffed by the wheel of bad fortune.

If your tot manages to get on without winding themselves, they then spend a few agonising moments clinging to a bar battling with central fugal forces beyond their control. Watching little folk cling to this medieval machine of terror is rather like watching a rodeo, which child will fly off first? Yet they go back again and again like moths to a flame.

Perhaps the humble roundabout is a testimony to human nature - we just can't help doing things that are not that good for us!

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