Saturday, 9 January 2016

Mrs Misifit - Hilariously Disastrous Walk with her Parents

January 9th:

Marianne had a lovely walk around Swan Lake in Helston with her children and parents.

Her dad had clearly decided that he would act bonkers in any public situation since he turned sixty. On this occasion he decided to keep hiding from the children behind every shelter and bin. Just as they approached he would leap out, brandishing his umbrella and bellowing like a bull. Every time the children squealed and ran helter skelter down the path.

Unfortunately, on one occasion he misjudged it and jumped out on an unsuspecting old couple walking their equally geriatric terrier. The octogenarians clutched at their chests in horror when Marianne's dad leered suddenly at them from behind a poo bin. The man immediately bent double, wheezing and the dog set up barking hysterically before turning its anger to the woman's walking stick which he set upon with fury.

Marianne, her mother and the two children walked past as though they were not associated with the retired lunatic loitering in dark spaces. Some time later he re-joined them after making many apologies and promising to buy the woman a new walking stick after her dog had destroyed it in its fit of terror.

Funny Festivities:

It is Autumn for Marianne Misfit. The weather is glorious and golden but there is the usual haphazard hilarity. Despite a farcical attempt at fancy dress, Marianne manages to survive the Halloween party from hell. The family trip to see the fireworks is a disaster ending in Marianne mud wrestling her daughter and her husband Andy trapped in a port-a-loo facing a three year old with a bad stomach. Christmas has lost its glow as Marianne is facing the problem of existing on a tight budget whilst trying to afford the usual presents and food. To make matters worse she has invited her snooty parents-in-law for Christmas dinner. Things get so bad that she almost calls the whole thing off claiming her children are infested with head lice. Her two friends Patsy and Lottie have different anxieties of their own, namely absent husbands and sore buttocks. Will Marianne salvage any Christmas presents from the goats? Will Lottie's blog continue whilst Colin's bottom is so sore? Will Patsy ever find out what her partner Jerry is getting up to in Thailand?

Funny Love:

When Marianne Misfits visits her ever so perfect neighbour Patsy, she inadvertently opens a can of worms. Talking about ham stuck to her slipper somehow transforms into an embarrassing dissection of her sex life with her husband.

With their lunatic assumptions, odd advice and utterly embarrassing behaviour, Marianne's friends encourage her to embark on a series of hilarious attempts to spice up her love life with disastrous results, trips to Marks and Spencer will never be the same again.

Will Marianne finally get to the bottom of what her husband really wants in the bedroom?
Is Patsy's life as perfect as it seems?
And will Lottie's geraniums ever recover from the horrors of her 'Happy Ending Harness'?

This is a romantic comedy of misfits trying to spice up their sex lives and offering friendship of the heartfelt but humiliating kind.

This tale of one woman's plight to spice up her marital relations will have you either laughing at her misadventures or relating to her misguided but very real insecurities.

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