1) I fell down the stairs. I admit I was in a bit of a grump, missed my footing and went from top to bottom on my, er, bottom.
The result of this was a spell of lying on my stomach on the sofa whilst husband took up my role of mum.
It felt a bit odd lying like lady muck whilst my husband barely had his bum on the sofa before, 'I need a wee,' 'I need a poo,' 'I'm hungry.'
He made dinner - well, he pierced the film lid on a couple of curries, in doing so the kitchen went from this...
He also offered to get up in the night. When I was woken by a little cry from the children's room I nudged him awake. He got out of bed in the dark and walked into the wardrobe. After much slamming of doors and swearing he managed to find his way to our son.
I guess I didn't realise how much I do things without needing to think about it anymore. I sleep on the opposite side of the bedroom door yet manage to put on my slippers, navigate around the bed then the chest of drawers, and the wardrobe without turning on the light or making a noise.
2) (Number two is very apt!) I accidentally washed a poo with all my clothes (don't ask - it was a toddler moment). I never imagined the smell would persist through a further four washes or that the poo would adhere itself to the drum so vehemently.
3) I'm afraid this is yet another tale of woe regarding effluence - after all, my life does seem to revolve around the stomach and bowel habits of everyone in this house.
My dog got into his food bin and ate a week's worth of dog biscuits in one go. For the next two days he drank buckets of water while his stomach trebled in size. He kept leering at me over the baby gate with a look that said, 'I just couldn't help myself.' The point of inevitability came when said biscuits erupted from both ends in epic proportions. Luckily this occurred in the garden.
Needless to say I have had no time to be creative but there are still lovely moments. My children were absolutely adorable when I was in pain on the sofa. My little boy crawled gently into my arms and stayed there all afternoon whilst my dear little girl fetched my slippers and provided me with entertainment. Her favourite 'show' was to spin round repeatedly until she fell over. I also had a shaky rendition of 'Let it Go!' Which I consider to be good advice and will just let all the hassles of this past two weeks go!!