Tuesday, 11 March 2014

What Can I Get Away With?

It occurred to me that a vast part of my mentality revolves around what I can get away with. By that I don't mean big things like tax evasion or bank robbery but the little things...

Can I get away with having a shower before the kids start squabbling, applying make before one of them gets stuck somewhere or putting washing out before one of them needs a poo or has done a poo?

This extends beyond the house...

Can I fart silently in a lift without children shouting 'Pooh mummy stinks' or doing the usual things in a public toilet without every detail being announced in loud falsetto voices?

Can I get away with eating out with both children and actually managing to drink some tea before its spilt or eat something before its trashed by a foot, a toy car or generally swiped off the table?

Sometimes, just sometimes I do get away with being a mum and don't find myself doing the walk of shame past disgusted fellow lift users, public loo visitors and other diners...sometimes.

The last time we went out on a family outing I didn't get away with anything. I did not get away with enjoying a live music performance without my son showering everyone within a metre radius with juice. I certainly did not get away with not having an entire mango ice cream daubed down my front or my child shouting a 'naughty drive word'* in the middle of the cafeteria!

The lovely thing to all matters of mummyhood is having a good laugh about it in the safety of my own home with an orange stained shirt.

* Naughty drive words are those unfortunate protestations about fellow road users when they do any idiotic manoeuvres

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