In the middle of a dream where my dog stole a chicken off the neighbour's bar-b-q I woke with the alarm burring. My husband leapt from the bed, 'Come on, time to get up, we're already late.' This was news to me as I wasn't aware there had been any snoozes. (For some reason we set the alarm half an hour early just enjoy being repeatedly woken up in ten minute intervals until we actually need to get up.)
'Come on, we're late,' hubby shouts over his shoulder and bolts from the room. Blearily I check my mobile phone to find it's only 6am, a half hour before we need to get up.
This signaled the start of a hapless morning...
Every week we go swimming with the children, or rather hubby takes them in one at a time while I try to enjoy a quiet moment watching from the side (This never happens. What actually happens is that Girlie Girl dangles from every towel bar she can find, climbs the fake rocks and paddles in the dirty drain water. Toddler boy screams for endless sweets and tries to escape from the pushchair.)
On our walk across the car park I announce I've forgotten arm bands and goggles.
In the changing room I realise I've forgotten wet wipes just when Toddler Boy fills his nappy with more poo than I have ever seen.
After much frantic searching I find there is no swim nappy for him.
Husband suddenly sits down with his head in his hands and moans, 'I've forgotten my swim shorts.'
Toddler Boy is mopped up with copious amounts of loo roll and put into normal nappy. Hubby wears his black denim shorts and I resolve to retrieve his uniform trousers from the car.
Feeling very pleased with our cleverness Girlie Girl and I take a seat pool side whilst Hubby and Toddler Boy walk into the pool and sit down. Hurrah.
A few minutes later they stand up. Toddler Boys nappy has absorbed pool water and trebled in size giving him the look of a squat pear and he can barely walk his legs are so far apart. Hubby's shorts are water logged and now so heavy that he has to permanently hold them up.
As for the lack of goggles, well, that was the least of our worries!