Friday, 31 January 2014

Mrs Misfit Takes a Look at her Body Image

Mrs Misfit thought long and hard about what Miss Perfect had said. She was determined to improve her perception of her own body. She would do it. She would be brave, seize the moment and look at herself naked!

She looked at herself from every conceivable angle, totally lost in her moment of nakedness and thought it was the right thing to do...

Tuesday, 28 January 2014

Embarrassing Times for a Mum

I've read a few blogs with hilarious articles about parents deliberately being uncool or fully knowing that they're an embarrassment to their children.

I would like to focus on the embarrassment I suffer as the mum of two small children.

On more than one occasion I have found myself talking to grown ups with sick, snot or poo on my person somewhere.

It is my voice that booms 'WAIT THERE!' disturbing the tranquillity of the local boating lake and causing a large flock of swans to take flight.

The other day the teacher took me aside to discuss my daughter's silly behaviour. I demonstrated all the right signs to show I took this matter seriously. I had forgotten that I'd put a vast array of animal, heart and fairy hairclips in my hair to keep them safe while I hoovered the children's bedroom earlier that day. I stood there disapproving whilst looking like the ambassador for silliness.

I have not even touched on the number of times I have stood in shame beneath many disapproving stares whilst my children shriek, scream, flail about on the floor and generally swipe every item off the shelf in the supermarket.

In short being a parent is the source of much embarrassment. Whether it is derived from the little darlings swearing in the sweet shop or from myself asking them loudly if they need a wee in public, embarrassment is a fundamental part of parenthood.

Realising this, I feel a little emancipated from the terror I used to feel about being embarrassed. No more do I turn puce and run for cover. Instead a laugh along with myself, fostering a much needed embarrassment immunity shield.

Monday, 13 January 2014

Imagination and Reality for a Four Year Old

My little Girlie Girl is about to turn four and I have noticed the line between imagination and reality is a thin, fragile and very tricksy thing.

Tempestuous Cornish storms were forecasted. We love the atmosphere of watching foaming, gargantuan waves crashing against the beautiful coastline so endeavoured to have a (safe!) family storm chasing trip.

Girlie Girl watched daddy intently as he gathered together his camera, batteries and memory card. In a moment she sped off upstairs and returned with her pretend Disney Princess camera. When you press the button it flicks through pictures of princesses and makes a satisfying '' noise.

'I'm going to take lot of pictos' *

*Pictos - A Girlie Girl term which I believe is a combination of Pictures and Photos

Brilliant. We encouraged her desire to be a photographer throughout the day. The sounding off at every opportunity. In the car -, watching the waves -, eating lunch - We talked about what pictures to take, positioning the camera. We revelled in our interaction and embracing imagination, in short, we thought we were fabulous parents actively encouraging our daughter's artistic talent, imagination, hand/eye co-ordination  and so on.

The mood changed in a snap when the words 'How do I get my pictos off the camera?' piped up from the rear seat.

My husband and I eyed eachother worriedly and the wonderful imaginary bubble popped leaving us scouring our brains for a good explanation that would not dash our daughter's dreams.

I believe we babbled something about how tricky princess cameras were for getting pictos out of them and waffled some words about 'magic' and 'special imaginary pictos.' She seemed satisfied and we breathed a sigh of relief.

Later I was presented with the Princess camera again, 'I think you get the pictos out with this screw' (she pointed to a silver screw). 'We need a screw diver' (interested use of words!)

It was here that I had to sit her down and tell her the truth about the pictos in the camera being imaginary and that we could draw pictures from our day instead. 'OK mummy' she said with a painfully brave smile and sat cradling her camera for some time.

In the kitchen, husband and I silently talked about how awful we felt and how amazing our little Girlie Girl was to accept her reality, indeed I think we were more upset at her courageous acceptance than if she had screamed and threw herself on the floor in a tantrum.

I'm not sure what is to be learned from this escapade. Should we have been realistic in the first place but missed out an a wonderful fun time taking pictos?

When Imagination Goes Wrong:

Last night I had another, much less positive experience of imagination when it goes awry. When I recount this tale it may come across as serious and, of course, it is serious when my child is upset but I have to laugh at certain points along the way.

We were given an 'Alien in an Egg'. You put the egg in water and, over a period of 2 days, it cracks open and a creature comes out.

Well we had lots of fun talking about what might hatch out of this egg. Ideas ranged from Dinosaur to Jelly Fish, each thing described with gusto and much excitement from Girlie Girl. She was immediately attached to the egg and wanted it by her bed. We decided the bookcase across the bedroom would be better. Everybody went to bed happy and thrilled at their new 'pet'.

I would like to mention that Girlie Girl decided to wear her brother's Gruffalo hat to bed.

Sometime later I was changing Toddler Boy on the bedroom floor just in time to see Girlie Girl rear up from the bed, still with Gruffalo hat, stride across the room and proceed to yell and scream at the bookcase.

I was by her side in an instant asking what was the matter. Toddler Boy, released from his nappy changing bonds, seized the opportunity to fulfil his plug fetish and pulled out both night lights, plunging all into darkness. The next few moments were a blur of lights flashing on and off, (he repeatedly pulls plugs in and out whilst flicking the switch and is YET TO GROW OUT OF IT - MONTHS OF OBSESSIVE PLUG BEHAVIOUR - MONTHS!!!) and a howling Gruffalo child.

Daddy came up. After many cuddles we found out that Girlie Girl thought the creature had escaped from the egg and was staring at her from the bookcase. Just as she made this announcement Toddler Boy set off the canons and fanfare on his pirate ship for extra dramatic effect!

Once the children were settled and the egg removed from the bedroom I did allow myself to laugh whenever the image of Gruffalo child shouting 'He's staring at me!' and Toddler Boy brandishing his pirate ship popped into my mind.  

Another bittersweet moment of children, imagination and hilarity in adversity.

Sunday, 5 January 2014

Mrs Misfit New Year Resolutions

Mrs Misfit decided to write her New Year's Resolutions...

She would turn this...

into this...
She would stop doing this every day...
and do this instead.

She would try hard not to moan to anyone who cared to listen...

and stop worrying all the time.

She would do a lot more of this...
and certainly lots of this.

She would read inspiring things every night...

and take many moments to just smell the roses.

In doing so she would no doubt be a radiant, competent, utterly fabulous domestic goddess, mum and wife!
Two days later...

Oh dear Mrs Misfit - better luck next year!