Friday, 20 March 2015

Children are my Artistic Inspiration

My children love anything that's personalised, particularly if it has their name or a saying they are fond of.

For example, my son's favourite saying at the moment is, 'I got Sinbad swords.'

This inspired me to create some personalised pictures for my Folksy shop.

NEVER Laugh at a Swear Word!!

I made the mistake of laughing at my son when he said the word, 'bollocks'.

In my defence I only tittered a little bit behind my hand but that was enough to have him belly laughing and saying the 'naughty word' repeatedly for the entire day.

Eventually, after many grown up discussions and simply telling him off he finally understood and stopped saying it.

Feeling like a competent mum for once I took both my children to the supermarket.

Whilst staring at bags of flour wondering whether I would ever make my own bread I heard my little girl whisper that her brother had, 'said a naughty word.'

In answer to this my son bellowed, 'I DIDN'T SAY BOLLOCKS!!!!'

Needless to say I inwardly cringed and thought '(a naughty word beginning with F) the bread!' and fled the crime scene with 'bollocks, bollocks, bollocks, bollocks' echoing in my ears.

Thursday, 19 March 2015

Three Bad Things

They say bad things happen in threes, well here's my three for the past two weeks:

1) I fell down the stairs. I admit I was in a bit of a grump, missed my footing and went from top to bottom on my, er, bottom.

The result of this was a spell of lying on my stomach on the sofa whilst husband took up my role of mum.

It felt a bit odd lying like lady muck whilst my husband barely had his bum on the sofa before, 'I need a wee,' 'I need a poo,' 'I'm hungry.'

He made dinner - well, he pierced the film lid on a couple of curries, in doing so the kitchen went from this...

to this...
He also offered to get up in the night. When I was woken by a little cry from the children's room I nudged him awake. He got out of bed in the dark and walked into the wardrobe. After much slamming of doors and swearing he managed to find his way to our son.
I guess I didn't realise how much I do things without needing to think about it anymore. I sleep on the opposite side of the bedroom door yet manage to put on my slippers, navigate around the bed then the chest of drawers, and the wardrobe without turning on the light or making a noise.
2) (Number two is very apt!) I accidentally washed a poo with all my clothes (don't ask - it was a toddler moment). I never imagined the smell would persist through a further four washes or that the poo would adhere itself to the drum so vehemently.
3) I'm afraid this is yet another tale of woe regarding effluence - after all, my life does seem to revolve around the stomach and bowel habits of everyone in this house.
My dog got into his food bin and ate a week's worth of dog biscuits in one go. For the next two days he drank buckets of water while his stomach trebled in size. He kept leering at me over the baby gate with a look that said, 'I just couldn't help myself.' The point of inevitability came when said biscuits erupted from both ends in epic proportions. Luckily this occurred in the garden.
Needless to say I have had no time to be creative but there are still lovely moments. My children were absolutely adorable when I was in pain on the sofa. My little boy crawled gently into my arms and stayed there all afternoon whilst my dear little girl fetched my slippers and provided me with entertainment. Her favourite 'show' was to spin round repeatedly until she fell over. I also had a shaky rendition of 'Let it Go!' Which I consider to be good advice and will just let all the hassles of this past two weeks go!!


Friday, 27 February 2015

Pot roast with socks and pants

Having decided to roast a brisket joint in my slow cooker I was pleasantly surprised to find the wet towel I placed over the lid to keep the steam in had dried in a short time.

So here's a budget idea - why not layer your freshly laundered socks and pants on the slow cooker to dry.

Economy meal drying washing quickly - genius!

Thursday, 26 February 2015

My son's favourite insult...

My son's favourite insult at the moment is the word 'farted'.

This is a little embarrassing when his response to, 'Hold my hand,' while walking along a busy street is, 'NO MUMMY FARTED!'

You'd be surprised how many people look at me with an expression that says, 'Why would he want to hold your hand if you've just farted?'

The futility of parenthood...

So yesterday was interesting.

My children 'helped me' tidy their bedroom by putting every toy and item of clothing into my son's cot. They emptied every drawer, cleared every shelf and every nook into my son's cot.

Unfortunately I had spent some time sorting all their toys whilst daddy took them on a trip out. I painstakingly put together the squillion tiny Sylvanian Family bits into their doll's house, I folded every t-shirt and trouser, arranged every dolly and teddy on the shelf. I sorted people into one drawer, animals into another and dinosaurs in their own drawer. I even separated little cars and big cars into baskets.

Starting the day full of bright imaginings of us all playing with neatly arranged farm sets and small world houses I entered the bedroom and found a cot heaving with all their possessions rammed into it. Seeing their delighted faces, hearing their little voices talk proudly about all the things they had found I couldn't help but say 'well done!' (through slightly gritted teeth) and give them cuddles.

Whilst they drank their victory hot chocolate and watched 'Rapunzel' with daddy I spent the next twu hours putting everything back.

Is this the definition of futility for us parents?

Wednesday, 25 February 2015

The bittersweet curse of a butterfly mind...

I can only say that it's been a whirlwind of Christmas and both children's birthdays and my first attempt at hosting a children's birthday party (there will be a post about this and the humiliating theatre trip during the Christmas break to follow!) So much so that I have totally fallen out the loop of actually turning my computer on let alone going online.

However, here I am back in the saddle and relieved. I have to admit that I missed my social media life. I felt a bit like I'd left a party without saying goodbye.

Though my fingers have failed to trip the light fantastic on a keyboard, they have been busy creating an eclectic array of wonderous things.

I have actually finished my picture book, 'Odd Witch' a thing which forced me along a rollercoaster ride of delirious highs and crashing lows, to come out the end with something that I do actually love.

It's now available on amazon as an ebook and I'm currently waiting for a paperback proof, fingers crossed it turns up looking like a book and not some scrapbook full of wonky pictures!

Having completed my masterpiece my eclectic mind has veered off in a different direction. Trying to pin down my butterfly dreams has only found me procrastinating and crying whilst eating biscuits.

In the middle of a wine induced rant at my poor husband as he tried to watch Top Gear, I suddenly realised - I should embrace my butterfly mind and go with the flow.

So I have opened an etsy shop to sell my original watercolour nudes set against beautiful patterned backgrounds -

I will now take a deep breath and jump into the world of my butterfly mind and see what happens - but first, I think I'll have a gin and tonic!